I’m so excited. I’ve been on the waiting list for this extrordinary class taught by Matthew Sanford, a T4 paraplegic and talented yoga practitioner and yoga teacher of over 20 years, for 2 very long years now (how lucky am I that he lives in the same metro area as me?). Anyways, it seems as though finally the local cries of my fellow yoga-desiring, disabled brethern have been heard. Last night was a 2 hour info session given by Matt at the Courage Center. 

Matt and his team of awesome yoga volunteers/teachers are going to be starting a new 6 week “Intro to Yoga” class this fall. And I will be able to be in this one! (fingers crossed). Last night was truly a transformative evening. The ideas that Matt teaches about the “broken” body, how it’s everyone’s birthright to still be able to get out of your wheelchair onto a mat, stretch, to move your limbs into poses you usually NEVER do (and in the process positively benefiting your energy), and basically to feel whole once again, are ideas that really hit home, and made sense more than anything I’v heard in re: to “disability” in years.

Matt pointed me out in class. He asked me in front of everyone to “ground my butt bones.” “Do you feel like you’re butt is balanced evenly on your seat?” he asked me. Nervously laughing I answered, “Ummm…I’m really not the one to ask that question” I told him. “I can’t feel it.” Then he explained to everyone how he purposely asked/egged me on to get that answer. His point? I can still feel my butt bones if I really listen to my body. And with enough practice through yoga and connecting my mind to my body once more, he says over time I’ll be more aware of my paralyzed limbs. I won’t gain the neurological sensation I once had, but I can still sense those areas. It’s an energy thing, and it’s real. It’s not some hippy-dippy thing, he stresses.

I believe him.

After 15 years of sitting (or laying) all the time, I feel annoyingly confined and stationary. My brain is going nuts. I really hope these yoga classes, getting out of my chair and onto the mat, stretching, rolling around, breathing deeply, going barefoot (!!), wearing cute yoga outfits, ALL of it, will help me feel less confined, more alive, and healthier. Even after one class, this morning, I can already feel a difference,

Matt has written a book called “Waking” that I just started, and highly recommend to everyone. And check-out his yoga studio, www.mindbodysolutions.org, as well. Matt’s story is phenomenal. He’s 40 something now, married, has two twin boys, and his own yoga studio. At 13, he was in a car accident where both his dad and 20 year old sister died. He is now on a crusade to spread the notion and healing nature of adapted yoga across the world, and to teach medical professionals to not tell disabled people to ignore/not appreciate the parts of their body they can’t move/use anymore. They’re still part of you and should be honored.

- Tiff

PS. To listen/watch Matt talk about his yoga beliefs, watch this really cool, crystal-clear video hosted by BrightCove.

A revelation I’ve had today about being a chick in a chair….

I’ve found over the years that I only get genuine attention from really sexy men (that are universally impressive catches) when I only look as hot as Christie Brinkley, Uma Thurman, or some other perfect-looking model. The chair is to blame, people. 

These type of men (men that able-bodied women fall head over heels for) would only consider being with me - a crippled woman - if I look above and beyond hotter than any able-bodied girl they know. And being that I know this, I put more than your average effort into how I look.

Do you realize how stressful and exhausting it is to live up to the standards that are now on me because of my injury? I used to model and can look better than most….but why do I have to make myself look “model-perfect,” and not be a natural carefree-blonde, in order to attract just the Average Joes? 

So it was only just a matter of time, but lately I’ve honestly stopped caring. Curling my hair, wearing the hippest clothes, sexy shoes, getting waxed, applying self-tanner, whitening my teeth every three months, doing my MAC makeup like the pros (which I can do), takes a very long time, especially since my GODDAMNED FINGERS DON’T MOVE. So this summer, I’ve been in “I don’t give a shit mode.”

Just look at this pic of me from CONvergence a few weeks ago (right). I’ve purposely darkened my hair to a natural blonde, I’ve stopped wearing foundation (I can hear the Southern belles screaming as they read this), and I’ve learned to enjoy looking and acting goofy. It honestly makes me much more happier than looking perfect all of the time.

With this change though, the drop in men noticing me has been excruciatingly noticeable. It’s hard to get used to, but really….I’m starting to really not give a shit AT ALL. If a dude is going to not going to see me because I look “average,” he can not exist in my world view anyways.

Life is too short to be hyper-sensitive to what these asshats think. Having to look exponentially better than my able-bodied female counterparts, just to get treated equally treated by men, really, seriously is, the dumbest, most unfair thing I’ve come to learn about life with a disability.

I’ve arrived at the next level of enlightenment, people. Nirvana here I come.

- Tiff

Note: This blog entry does not in anyway insinuate that I have a low self-esteem, or fear I’ll never find a man who will like me. So please annoying dudes, stop sending me letters, k? I’m talking about a growth in my personality, a revelation regarding the perception of disability, I’m not crying for a man in my life. Men are overrated anyways. I know I can get a man when I want one, I just hate having to work so hard on my looks to do it. It’s lame.

Ok, maybe it’s not a “top secret” kind of secret, or purposely hidden for that matter, but it’s definitely not a well known thing…

What in the hell am I talking about? The BEST way to charge your chair, that’s what. How long have you been using a powerchair (me? 15 yrs)? And even though I work in the disability industry, I just found out 3 WEEKS ago that your chair will get an immensely better charge if you leave the joystick on.

That’s right folks, those twinkling lights can double as a nightlight.

And your welcome! I know I just made your Saturday. Actually, thank Andy at Reliable Medical. I love it when my wheelchair fix-it dude actually knows what in the hell he’s doing.

- Tiff

I went and conquered this highly anticipated film late Thursday/early Friday morning at 12:01am (that’s me to the left with my friend Catie dressed as a female version of “Two-Faced”).

Here in Minneapolis, we went to the highly popular downtown theater known as Kerasotes/Block E. We arrived at 10:30pm and got in line with hundreds of other folks. Several people were in costume. I saw three “Ledger” Jokers, one ’60s-style Joker, a ’60s Robin, Poison Ivy, a ’60s Batman, a “Bale” Batman. What else? Can’t remember it all. There were lots! And I’m sorry to report, but I ended up NOT going as the “Batmobile” afterall. I was too lazy and cheap to drive to Home Depot to buy the neccessary supplies.

I’ll start with the two things I didn’t like about the film: 1) Not enough cute Bale scenes, and 2) The Harvey Dent/Two-Faced storyline started to drag at the end of the film. I was so annoyed with Aaron Eckhart’s performance that I was actually pissed he escaped the hospital explosion unscathed. Sorry Mr. Eckhart, but this wasn’t your finest performance. Very, very dull. Now the Joker on the other hand…

Ledger’s Joker has become one of my favorite all-time movie villians. Does he live up to the hype? Hells yes. He’s pretty much a psychotic, unstable serial killer/terrorist, who lives to create choas and has no “end goal.” “I’m like a dog that chaes after cars,” he says. “I’d have no idea what to do if I finally caught one.” Simply put: He loves the chase. And villians like this are the best kind. It’s not like Michael Meyers where he’s trying to kill his sister, or the dying cancer guy in the “Saw” films who only kills f’ed up/flawed people. The Joker will off anybody if it makes his adrenaline rush. Can you say awesome?

What else? Any scene were Batman is purposely trying to be a “Playboy womanizer” was fantastic and funny as hell. And the scene where Batman’s motorcycle pops out of his car like magic = AWESOME.

So, will this movie become one of the top-selling movies ever made? I think it’ll be close. I hope it does for the sake of Ledger’s memory. He seriously deserves it.

Why so serious?!

- Tiff

I own this Gwen Stefani tour DVD and watch it whenever I’m drinking martinis. It’s from her “Harajuku Lovers” tour, and it rocks. Gail Ann Dorsey (the sexy, bald bassist you’ll see in the vid) was also the bassist for David Bowie’s “Reality” tour, plus a couple other of his tours too, I believe. Anyways, Gail’s great. Gwen’s great. And this song, “The Real Thing,” is tear-inducingly beautiful.

You’ll be amazed at how well Gwen sounds live too (she’s not lip-synching). She sounds great because she’s not dancing around feverishly the way Janet and Britney do, and running out of breath. Gwen knows who she is. She comes from a ska background. She’s far from being a talented hip-hop dancer, so she doesn’t even try. Being the hottie she is, she doesn’t need to dance. All she has to do is show up on stage wearing a pair of killer heels and a sexy outfit, and she’ll please the audience for days.

Enjoy, my friends. This song makes me happy for days.

- Tiff

Your face deserves a Happy Hour too, peoples.

With that thought, you should go and buy a tube of Queen Helene’s AMAZING Mint Julep Mask. Here. For $4.29, your face will get to experience on multiple occasions the magical properties of this intense light green clay-based mask.

It’s an oldie, but a goodie. Women for decades (and me the past 5 years) have been using this mask to clear up pimples, acne, blackheads, and other unsavory skin issues.

Plus, it smells like you’re boozing it up with plantation owners from the 1800’s. Obviously, this scenario would only be cool if it ended with you freeing the slaves, then giving them your Mint Juleps.

- Tiff 

And what’s better for a Friday danceathon, than “Everything She Wants” by Wham!?

*spins around her chair as she plays the 6 minute long track, making sure not to run into her wall*

God I love George Micheal. And this is one of his best songs ever. I used to be a much better dancer before snapping my neck, but I don’t care. When the music takes you, you must follow.

*goes and laughs at the “Now you tell me that you’re having my baby” part*

- Tiff

I’m not really a big “quote” person. They can be tired, trite, and well I’ll just say it - lame.

But! (but, but, but), I just discovered a phenomenal quote thanks to a mass email sent to us freelancers from my editor. It encompasses my entire life post-injury, what I strive to do everyday, and most importantly - what I hope to further through my articles, podcasts, and blogs. The quote comes from the recently passed disability rights activist and lawyer, Harriet McBryde Johnson.

“Living our lives openly and without shame is a revolutionary act.”

This is one of the most perfectly worded expressions I’ve ever read. What I do, and what I want women with disabilities to do everywhere, is to live their lives as if they weren’t disabled; to NOT let society’s expectations of who they *should* be to mold their lives.

Some people just can’t handle it when we’re “out in the public eye” being sexual beings, getting married, having babies, looking hawt (omgz the horror!), and basically relishing the woman inside of us. They think our disability should somehow make us not want to or not be able to do these things anymore. But, we live in the 21st century. The time for a revolution has come! We are the last minority to get treated equally in regards to the whole ”Hey, we’re human too!” situation, and that needs to change.

When will the time come when people no longer come up to me and congragulate me for being out when I’m buying a burrito at Chipotle? When will they stop patronizing me/being shocked for living my life like a “normal” 28 year old? Just because I’m sitting down does not make me that vastly different, nor does it somehow magically siphon away my hormones.

I should really get this quote tattooed across my face. I’d probably piss people off, and that’d be awesome.

- Tiff

Estelle is amazing people. Check out her catchy “American Boy” video, feat. Kanye West.

- Tiff

Here’s what happens when you insert your side supports that have been sitting in the sun for too long:

Fucking paralyzed triceps. I’m ready for the cure now. Really, God.

- Tiff