Smokin’ Eyelashes

This Monday’s beauty product recommendation is courtesy of the uber-glam goddess from sunny Florida, Miss Meaghan G.

The Eyecurl II, a heated eyelash curler that requires no finger movement to operate (only wrists), is hands-down the most awesome beauty product I’ve seen in a long ass time (and the underfed Kate Moss apparently agrees).

You can get this nifty curler from various online locales (including Ebay and Ecrater), and I’ve seen it go for as little as $6.99 all the way to $16.99, so don’t be afraid to shop around.

If you’re wondering how this thing actually works, simple: The curved heated wand, when pressed under the upper-lash line and slowly lifted upwards, causes the lash to curl….thanks to the heat. And FYI, you’ll have the best results if you use mascara first. Think of your mascara as a rockin’ glue.

And yes it’s true, curled eyelashes make an immense difference to your face.

Immense!

Curled eyelashes make your eye look exponentially bigger; not Disney-esque, but close :/

– Tiff

Dress by Design

While flipping through a Reader’s Digest last (while week waiting for my van to get fixed), I ran across this intruiging build-your-own-dress website called Dress by Design. For $200, you can pick from 6 different styles, hundreds of different color and fabric options, and create the perfect dress.

I really love this idea. It’s an easy way to get just the dress you’re looking for, without the hassle of going out and driving around for naught. Now, if I only had a fun event coming-up, then I just might get one made for myself.

– Tiff

A Textile Survey

Even though we’re all wheelchair-users, our needs regarding clothes still vary person to person. I know that for me, since I’m 5’10 with really long legs, and I sit all day, I need extra-long inseams on all of my pants, but not every other gimp is like me…

I also need:

– A long torso in my shirts so they don’t ride up, exposing my belly.

– Non-bell/flowy sleeves.

– Skirts that aren’t above the knee.

– No long jackets; they just bunch-up behind my back.

– Fabric that moves and no bulky seams.

– No itchy fabric like wool.

With that said, what do you look for in pants, shirts, jackets, etc, when buying clothes for your non-standing lifestyle?

– Tiff

Stay Far, Far Away From Drunk Club Guys

Back in 2007 when I was livin’ it up as a crazed 20 something, single girl, I would go to the clubs of my fair city quite often. What can I say? It’s a great way to let off some steam, dance (yes people in wheelchairs can dance), and meet men….or at least I thought so. After several oh-my-god-annoying incidents, I decided to make a new rule for myself: Stay away from the drunk losers at the clubs! 

Now why you may ask? It’s simple: They’re out of their mind hornballs who are NOT THEMSELVES. As they say, what you do drunk, you’re likely never to do sober, and oh baby, this is so true. Let me play out the scenario for you: “Hey you’re hot,” says the drunk guy to yours truly. I’m drunk at the time too and take his compliment seriously. I smile. Encouraged, he asks for my number. We chat up, he buys me a few drinks, and we part ways with a sexy kiss. So what’s wrong here? The next day, week, month, he never calls you back.

What I can guess is that after he’s sober, he became embarrassed: “Oh my God I hit on a woman in a wheelchair, and I’m going to Hell!”  His feelings were never real, he’s not the kind of guy open-minded enough to date a disabled woman, and essentially…he’s wasted your time; truly and completely. So I’ve learned the hard way to never, ever, ever take these men seriously. In fact, stay far, far away!

Even better yet, buy a roufee and drug them. Kidding…

– Tiff

Why Do I Have This Incessant Desire to Ride In a Sidecar?

I’ve had this reoccurring obsession with sidecars over the past year. There’s no explanation for it really. It kind of just came out of no where. But, if I had to pin-point its beginnings, I’d have to say it was when I saw this uber cute semi-elderly couple tooling down Washington Ave. in a vintage motorcycle/sidecar “extravaganza” one day. I was giddy at the sight! Why? Because it dawned on me that I, despite my disability, could be that passenger in the sidecar. Riding in a sidecar was still an option for me; an option I’d never even considered up until that point.

Blame it on the fact I was born in 1979; a long ass time since sidecars were popular, or whatever you want, but I was (and still partially am) oblivious to how sidecars work. All I think is that they’re adorably cute and I want to ride in one. Is that too much to ask? You don’t really see a lot of sidecars on the roads these days, and you therefore don’t run into a lot of owners either; so the knowledge-base to learn about them is hard to find. I’m thinking I’m going to start researching it online. Maybe find a “Disabled Sidecar” association, or something like that, and then see if I can score a free ride in my city. I wonder what the height/weight requirements are for sidecars anyways?

I like the vintage WWII motorcycle/sidecar combos the best. There’s this romantic allure to them whenever I see one (and it’s rare, let me say). I fantasize about some hot, young officer picking me up out of my chair, setting me in his sidecar (and giving me his helmet to wear) and us riding off into the sunset somewhere. No destination in mind, just driving, wind blowing in our faces, the smell of burning gasoline, and me chilling in the sidecar like a pea in a pod.

Maybe one day this dream will become a reality. I’ll keep you posted 🙂

Colbert and Gorlock

So let’s face it, The Colbert ReporT hasn’t been at peak performance lately, being that all of their writers are currently on strike.

But (and this is a big “but” here), the creation of Gorlock, an alien financial advisor recommended to Steven by crazy-Scientologist-midget, Tom Cruise, is some of the funniest shit I’ve seen on TV in a long time…especially when Steven bitches about how Gorlock gave him bad financial advice (or never even called him), when the Stock Market tanked the other day.

Go laugh yourself some tears of pure, unadulterated alien-joy:

Go now. Must watch Gorlock.

– Tiff