8/9/11: Dating on Wheels – Returning to the Game

34 years old and a C6 quad, this single father is getting back in the game, and needs a refresher on the latest dating rules.

Dear Tiffiny,

I’ve recently started dating again and man things are different now then before I was hurt! Never mind texting, there wasnt even cell phones when I was learning how to date. So what I was hoping to learn was sort of a chic’s eye-view of the rules, like how long to wait to calltext after a date or how to sound interested without sounding needy. Things like that. 




Dear J,

I know how scary it is when you first get out there. You never know how guys, or in your case the ladies, will react when they realize a person in a wheelchair is into them. The one beautiful thing about dating is that if you’re single, then you have nothing to loose. So keep that in mind as you read “the rules” I’m about to tell you, because in the big scheme of things dating rules don’t really matter, because getting out there and trying is the best thing you can do.

Ok, now with that out of the way, let’s get down to the nitty gritty {g}. Let’s start with texts, and more specifically when to text back and how often. If you went on a date and had an awesome time, there’s absolutely nothing weird about texting a few minutes after  to tell her you had a great time and would love to see her again. But don’t call, as that would be construed as needy. As for the next day, it’s totally acceptable to call or text to ask when she’s free and to plan your next date, but don’t call more than once in a day (unless she calls you back of course, then ring away).

As for letting her know you’re interested without seeming “too needy,” its all about putting the ball in her court and treating her with respect. I know you’re worried about being perceived as needy because of your disability, but when dealing with women your main concern should be making them feel comfortable. But I get your point; you don’t want to seem too over-zealous and well, not cool, or whatever, because you can’t walk. Now, its really easy to subtely show a girl you’re into her. A smile, a gaze that keeps going back to her, remembering things about her and asking about them, are really your best ways to let her know you want to get to know her better. And of course asking for her number is the big first thing you can do to let her know you’re into her.

When asking for her number, word it something like, “I would love to get to know you better. Can I text you?” That’s it, and hopefully you’ll get a positive response. Keep it casual, no pressure. And you’ll be happy to know there’s one thing that’s still the same: Girls still prefer it when the guy makes the first move, and in your case its really important. You’re already fighting the “guy in a wheelchair” stereotype, so it’s in your best interest to appear as confident as possible. So make that move asap, and if she seems uninterested, chalk it up as practice. Once you get her number, shoot her a text. Start a conversation, or get straight to the point (ie., ask her out). Its really up to you, and what you think she’d prefer.

So there you have it. That’s all I got. Just keep on flashing that sexy smile, be romantic, respectful, remember to give her space, and you’ve got nothing to worry about. Good luck!


What do you love about texting when dating?

Have a question for Dating on Wheels? Send it to tiffiny@beautyability.com

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