What’s It Like To Be Paralyzed

Wanna know? Really, really?

Ok, well here you go, the best way EVER to describe it:

Try to move your hair, as you would your arms, your fingers, your legs. See how it does absolutely nothing and is unresponsive? Well, that my friends, is what it’s like when a part of your body becomes paralyzed after a spinal injury.

It just stops listening. Like you and a best friend got in a fight and are now ignoring each other.

As you can guess, it’s immensely frustrating to have that ability siphoned away from you. Walking, moving, makes life SO much easier.

A cure can happen, folks, and is closer than you think! Believe and most importantly, donate!

– Tiff

A Kung-Fu Orgasm

Saw “The Forbidden Kingdom” tonight, starring the kick-ass duo of Jackie Chan and Jet Li.

FUCKING GREAT film! I heed you all, to go, go, see it!!

Subtlely funny, amazing fight scenes, and hey, when it starts out like “The Neverending Story” (kid getting bullied, finds himself in an alternate universe) what’s not to love? I AM a child of the ’80s afterall.

Preview!

So if you find yourself bored this weekend, and not interested in a raunchy surrograte mother comedy (like “Baby Mama,” starring Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, which I’m TOTALLY seeing tomorrow), you really can’t go wrong with this dandy.

Have a happy weekend, my peoples!

– Tiff

“Tropic Thunder”

Ever imagined a movie with Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr., and Jack Black, all playing actors (a comedy) where they’re filming a war movie?

I present to you “Tropic Thunder.” Opens August 15th.

This looks hysterical! CAN’T wait to see it.

– Tiff

Fake Booby Bra

Being the proud owner of implants myself (best investment ever!), this bra is more than intruiging:

Le Mystere No.9

“Le Mystère No. 9 is a bra with a patented system for supporting and complementing the way breasts look and feel after enhancement surgery. The first of its kind, No. 9 was made with the help of a board-certified plastic surgeon. But there’s nothing medical-looking about it. It’s as stylish as Le Mystère’s regular collection.”

Has anyone checked it out?

– Tiff

A Blissful Reunion

Sometimes a picture can make even me, this tough SCI beeyotoch, tear up.

And this is one of them.

Paul, the devoted hubby of Kelly (a fierce and sexy blonde para, who I’m honored to call a friend. They live together on base in North Carolina), finally returned to the States today after serving in the “hell hole” that is Afghanistan for over 12 months.

He serves in the Army as an Executive Officer of a parachuting Batallion (a pretty James Bond-esque job, which’s he’s honored to do), but this poor couple (who were legally married right before he left) have been missing each other like crazy. Not surprising, his sexy lady and New Castle beer topped his list as the things he’s missed most.

Their “official” wedding will be in June down in Fort Bragg. I REALLY hope to make it (PCA and plane ticket expenses, from Minneapolis, withstanding of course).

They did, after all, meet on this site through the message boards. So I REALLY want to go.

Congrats Paul & Kelly! So glad you’re finally reunited!

Have lots and lots of sex for me, ok? LOL

– Tiff

Dolce & Gabbana ‘The One’

Meagh (an awesome chick who is a frequent poster on our boards) is right.

This new parfum from D&G is the shiz.

Entitled ‘The One,’ it’s described as “a warm, oriental floral with modern sensuality. Created for the ultimate diva, The One is at once tempting, modern and glamorous, embracing a touch of classicism…”

Btw, who knew “classicism” was a word? Did they just make that up to sound umm…classy?  

Anyways, got a free spritz of it during my crazy Nordstrom’s day yesterday. I’d buy a bottle, but the smallest bottle (1.6 oz) goes for $65. Fuck that shit. I’d rather buy a new cell phone or an expensive lobster dinner.

Hmmm yes….lobster….with lots and lots of hot butter. Goddamnit it. I’m hungry now. Anyone want to take me out?

Oceanaire sounds good to me!

– Tiff

Nordstrom’s Makeup Event

Today was what I like to refer as “Crazy Makeover Day” over at Nordstrom’s at the Mall of America. Every counter in the store was giving free makeovers.

This of course is an obvious promotional tool, but I also noticed that the bosses of the makeup artist’s were assessing their work as they made-up the hordes of women looking for a free look. So maybe they use it as a “testing day” for their artists too (?).

A friend of mine, and yours truly, had 1:30pm appointments with the lovely Laura Mercier ladies. Laura Mercier is some uber-expensive, celebrity-loved makeup, founded by Miss Laura Mercier about 10 years ago. Her makeup is known (famously) for it’s amazing foundation.

As you can see from my whitified, yet evenly-toned skin to the left (with my newly purchased black-knit scarf from H&M), Laura Mercier’s foundation holds up to it’s notoriety.

So naturally, being the makeup whore that I am, I submitted, and smacked down $42 for their Silk Creme Foundation in “Rose Ivory.” Really, amazing luminous liquid foundation. Light and gently tinted. Could this be the end of my obsession with MAC’s Studio Fix Fluid Foundation? Only the future weight of my pocketbook will tell (Laura’s foundation is twice the cost).

– Tiff

PS. The free booze and tasty vittles we were promised at this event, were unfortunately AWOL.

On a Happier Note…

Target is selling “vintage” Bowie shirts at the moment!

We should all go and buy one and wear them across the nation, to attempt a resurgence of the 1970’s Bowie era.

Imagine, kids on city street corners wearing glittery makeup, platform boots, and feather boas in broad daylight.

That would make me very happy.

– Tiff

“Oracle” aka Batgirl

Did you know that DC Comics had their character, Batgirl (Batman’s daughter, Barbara Gordon), become paralyzed after being shot by her arch-enemy, The Joker, who then changed her identity to “Oracle”…a sexy paraplegic, computer genius, who ran her team of able-bodied ass-kicking proteges from her home in Gotham’s Clocktower?

And the coolest part? WB had a show based on “Oracle” called Birds of Prey, that was on from 2002 – 2003. “Oracle” was played by Dina Meyers; a red headed, blue-eyed, future-esque using wheelchair phenom…this sexy, main character WITH a disability was and still is a big deal to have ever made it to network television. A powerful and SEXY woman in a wheelchair?! Usually VERY taboo….

 

Here are some awesome screenshots from the show:

– Tiff

PS. Birds of Prey will be released on DVD July 15th, 2008.