by Tiff -

Push Girls Episode 11 Review: Breaking the Ice

In episode 11, the girls get to do one of the best adrenaline rushes you can still get when paralyzed – downhill skiing. They head to Big Bear, Cali for the classic weekend ski getaway.

Tiphany and Chelsie have fun rating hot men during the road trip there, Chelsie can’t calm her nerves before she skis and Angela has so much fun she can’t stop smiling. Also, watch Mia prove paraplegics can conquer the top bunk!

SPOILERS AHEAD ***

The episode begins with a flurry of activity at Angela’s house – all four girls are there, plus Chelsie, to pack for their trip to Big Bear (Auti’s idea. She’s the only one in the group who has gone adapted skiing before).

Both Chelsie and Tiphany have gone skiing before their injuries, but Chelsea is definitely the most scared to go.  She tried snowboarding her first time a month before her injury, and talks about how she’s afraid it won’t be the same.

Angela thinks it’ll be scary. “Come on a quadriplegic skiing?” Mia says this is the first time she’s ever gone skiing, and I think she kind of likes it that way.  We get a cute shot of Angela and her 25 year old boyfriend (she’s 37), and calls herself a “cougar kitty.”

Their relationship is definitely getting stronger.  Cody says learning to be with Angela has been an amazing growth process. “I had to battle immaturity to be her boyfriend,” he says.

by Tiff -

Dating on Wheels: In Love but Worried

Dear Tiffiny,

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about five months now.  We met online and, in the beginning, he seemed to be alright with my wheelchair situation, but now I am not so sure.  Things are going pretty well…  I’ve met his parents, friends, except I’m starting to worry that my limitations may be getting on his nerves.

He’s really sweet, and that’s part of the problem. I’m afraid he wouldn’t tell me to what he was really feeling even if I asked him.  What can I do to make sure he’s not starting to get annoyed with my disability (I would hate for it to get the point that he gets so fed up that he just walks away)?  Thanks for taking the time to help me. Read this entry

by Tiff -

Push Girls Episode 9 review: Freaky Deaky

In episode 9, get ready for some fun ’cause it’s the dating episode. All four ladies attend an art gallery opening together (and get lots of stares), Tiphany reconnects with an ex-flame (a guy this time!), Angela dates a hunk 12 years her junior and Mia goes kayaking on a first date. The Bachelorette has nothing on this episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD ****

The episode begins checking in with Tiphany and Angela. Tiphany is on her computer in the living and checking her dating profile. Tiphany says most people assume you have no dating life if you use a chair, but admits that being in a chair can make you more vulnerable. “Trusting people can be tough.”

Angela rolls in asking her if she puts down she uses a wheelchair in her profile (while Tiphany points out an alternative-looking she thinks is hot who has ginormous gauged ears; Angela squirms and asks, “What in the heck is on his ears?” lol). And then Angela brings up one of the most creepy issues you’ll discover after being paralyzed  – wheelchair fetishists (they have an attraction to people in wheelchairs). 

by Tiff -

Push Girls Episode 7 review: This Is How You Get Through

In this episode, Chelsie and the girls dish on men (sex in the chair revealed!), three of them perform hip-hop at the Abilities Expo (and overcome a move gone wrong) and Angela finally finds a casting agent who thinks she has a real shot in the modeling industry. This is my favorite episode yet (by far).

SPOILERS AHEAD ****

Episodes 7 begins with the utterly adorable (and god damn is she in good shape) Chelsie rolling up to Auti’s house for a dance practice session with Auti and Mia (for an upcoming performance at the Abilities Expo in San Jose), for their wheelchair hip-pop wheelchair dance group, Colours ‘n Motion (“Auti’s Wheelchair Dance School.” Why doesn’t this exist yet?)

I like how Chelsie admits that after injury she wasn’t interested in wheelchair dance. “I thought it looked weird.” “But then I met Auti and it all clicked.” If anyone can prove that it’s not stupid, it’s Auti.

While they’re practicing, can I just say that Mia looks overwhelmingly cute in her uber-long braided pigtails?  I don’t care if she’s 33.  She can pull them off like nobody’s business.

After practice, they nom on some store bought sushi as they discuss their big performance (this will be the first time many of Chelsie’s friends and family see her dance in her wheelchair). “It’ll be the first time, like, you know, instead of like on videos and stuff,” she says.

by Tiff -

Would you date another wheeler?

I had a guy in a wheelchair write me the other day asking if I’d ever date another wheeler.  He wasn’t hitting on me. He just wanted to know my opinion (and for good reason too).

He was on a disability message board and this question was being bantered about. Much to his surprise, most of the wheelers said they’d never date another person in a wheelchair. He was appalled at the hypocrisy. Yes this is hypocrisy bro. I don’t blame you for getting annoyed.

But I’ve long known about this attitude; an attitude that is very prevalent in the wheelchair-using community.  It’s an understandable and practical mindset to have. I’m usually 98% in this camp as well, to be honest.  And not too long ago – I was 100% against dating guys in wheelchairs. Read this entry

by Tiff -

Push Girls Episode 5 review: How Did We Get Here

This episode really struck a chord with me.  It shows two of the girls, Tiphany and Mia, facing one of my greatest fears – speed dating. And Angela deals with the mixed feelings she’s having towards her husband, Dustin (who she’s separated from), who comes to visit her for a few days in LA.  I hate to say it, but Angela is starting to drive me crazy.

SPOILERS AHEAD ****

Episode 5 begins with Angela getting her hair washed at the kitchen sink. Her PCA/Auntie Judy says the most offensive thing about Angela (not to her face, but still), “She’s like a baby,“ as she talks about how important she feels it is for Angela to get back together with Dustin. WTF?

Tiphany and Mia, both freshly single, decide to go speed dating. The speed dating oordinator says, “I’ve never had any women in wheelchairs before, but if they (the men) don’t like them for who they are, then they don’t want them anyway.” Mia says about her chair before going in (re: being nervous), “I’ve been in a wheelchair for so long. I don’t even notice it anymore.”

by Tiff -

Push Girls Episode 4 review: Hope Its Not Too Late

In this episode, Angela tries to teach herself to pain again and dols out some killer advice to the ladies. Meanwhile, Auti is stressing out about not being able to *stay* pregnant and visit’s a fertility doctor and Tiphany and her girlfriend Miyoko see some rough seas.

SPOILERS AHEAD ****

This episode had A LOT going on. Let’s start out with Angela, the quad of the group. She decides after 10 years to try to paint again. Watching her struggle holding a brush with quad hands was fascinating. It is not easy learning how to still use paralyzed fingers. Been there. But why did she wait 10 years?

Auti, the 42 year old paraplegic of the group, gets a lot of screen time in this episode. I love what she said about her husband Eric. “Some people are surprised to see an able-bodied man with a woman in a wheelchair, but I‘m spoiled; I like to be carried.”

And I love Auti’s dog Bats, a French Bulldog. She makes “rolling” a dog look so easy. But this episode is all about Auti and Eric trying to get pregnant. She reveals she had an abortion after her injury. “I would’ve had an 18 year old by now,” she cries.

Her mom died of cancer right after her injury and she was in a rough spot (hence the abortion). And now Auti and Eric are having a hard time getting pregnant, they’re worried (well Auti is) that she might be infertile.

by Tiff -

Push Girls: Reality TV Finally Finds Us

Push Girls - Reality TV Series helps those with spinal cord injuriesI wrote more about what “Push Girls” means to me for Easystand. Check it out:

Push Girls premiered last Monday, the new reality show on the Sundance channel profiling four “hot babes” in wheelchairs. As a babe in a wheelchair myself (hey I’ve been called that), this show is the televised messiah I’ve been waiting for.

The show’s premise – showing the world that you can still be beautiful, have a full life, a great job, have men that want you, and still drive a fabulous car (has been my personal goal since my injury).

You have no idea how frustrating it is for people to be shocked when you can achieve any of these things. A “push girl,” so say the shows producers, keeps on pushing despite anything that comes her way. I kinda like it. Read the rest of this entry…

by Tiff -

Push Girls Episode 1 Review: Everyone Stares

Oooh baby. I woke up this morning thinking I had nothing to look forward to except an ultrasound and a day of writing ahead of me, but then I saw the first episode of Push Girls dropped a week early. Post-Memorial Day weekend blues cured.

SPOILERS AHEAD ***

The first episode is titled “Everyone Stares,” which couldn’t be a better name for the first episode (that’s one of the first things you’ll notice when you use a wheelchair – everybody stares).

And as the 12 minute preview (released last month) of the series gave me hope for, the first episode hit every note – the reality of dating in a wheelchair, health issues (that can come up at the worst times), and grief…dealing with the loss of mobility, which even the bling and fancy cars can’t fix.

I think one of the things a lot of people with disabilities were worried about when they first heard about the show was that it wouldn’t portray the reality of life in a wheelchair; that the girls might too pretty, too rich, that they had above average support from family and friends (or all of the above), and so they were not going to support it; but from what I saw in episode one however was a very accurate portrayal. Their lives are not rainbows and sunshine bubbles. 

by Tiff -

Dating On Wheels: Advice for a Lonely Lesbian

Hello Tiff-

I’m a 34 year old woman with cerebral palsy and I use a power chair. My first and only relationship was in high school. Dating with a disability is hard enough, but throw in the fact that I am a lesbian and it gets so much harder. The stereotype is that people with disabilities are not sexual beings, but then you throw in a deviant sexuality…

I am not in to the bar or club scene, but I am wishing I had someone in my life.

Thanks, Lonely Lesbian