Ever wanted to approach a woman in a wheelchair, but didn’t know what to say? So did he.

Dear Tiffiny:

If I would happen to meet a girl in a wheelchair, how do I make an approach? I mean, the chair must be an obvious matter that can not be ignored. But if I mention it… how do I do that? Should I say: “Hey, nice wheelchair?”… I´m not looking forward to a date with a woman on a wheelchair, but knowing myself so well, I really wouldn’t have a problem. Or if she is missing a limb or eyesight. As long as she is interesting, intelligent, sensitive, looks good (wears make up/nice hair etc) and is not ugly… a wheelchair is something that wouldn’t matter. So, Second: How are the rules of engagement? (I mean, what can one say or not, etc.) Could you clarify? 

Sincerely,

Hoping to be Mr. Smooth

______________________________________________________________________________________

Dr. HtoBMrS

I’m glad to hear you are open to dating a woman with a disability. As you said, dating “us” is like dating anyone else. Believe it! We can still lead interesting, full lives, be super hot, intelligent, and do it all while sitting down. “Hard to imagine that existence,” some would say. I say we’re impressive.

As for this proposed woman in a wheelchair who you may approach one day, treat her as if you were approaching a woman who COULD walk. And please, don’t mention the wheelchair when you first say hi. Just a smile and a “Hello….you’re gorgeous,” is always a successful, pitch-perfect intro. She should mention during the first date what her disability is and if she doesn’t, try asking: “I was wondering what your disability is? I don’t care either way; just curious.” She really should tell you though by the first date out of politeness. That’s her responsibility.

And remember – no cheesy wheelchair references. I know they can be hard to tame, especially if you’re new to being around a wheelchair, but you’ll soon see the chair does not define her, and she does not find herself the “Elephant” in the room, so there’s no need to talk about the chair right away. To her, it’d be like talking about her vacuum cleaner. Not. Interesting. Anytime a guy calls me “Hot Rod,” or “Speedy Wheels,” is instantly loathed in my world.

So there you go: Compliment her, not her chair. Be nice. Smile. Its really not that hard. And Carlos – I find one of your qualifiers about how in order for a woman to look good she must, “(wears makeup/nice hair etc),” quite amusing. A woman can be beautiful without makeup. You’d be surprised!

Best of luck on your dating journey,

Tiffiny

To other woman in wheelchairs: How do you like to be approached?

Have a question for Dating on Wheels? Send it to tiffiny@beautyability.com

Dating on Wheels archive

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Written by Tiff

    3 Comments

  1. Jade August 7, 2011 at 2:56 pm Reply

    I am very happy with the superb information you provide on Dating on Wheels: How to approach a woman in a wheelchair …. I am sure many people just like me will benefit by reading this information. I will make sure to bookmark this website.

  2. Ta July 23, 2012 at 10:34 pm Reply

    Ugh! I’m glad you told Carlos not to mention the chair. Nothing makes me feel more awkward than some silly reference to it immediately!
    Great advice!

  3. Tiffiny July 24, 2012 at 5:36 am Reply

    Thanks Ta! 🙂

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